Fearless

Fearless. I've been thinking about this word a lot lately and just exactly what it means. It is a word that has been working in my life for the better and I hope one day will describe me completely. I bought a bracelet over a month ago, just one of those bracelets that is thick, plain black, and has one word written in big white letters. I chose the one with "FEARLESS" on it. People have asked me before why I chose this one specifically and I always have a hard time explaining to where they will see where I'm coming from. You see, all my life I've been afraid, mainly of what others thought of me and what would happen if I messed something up or made a fool of myself in the process. This fear has held me back from so much. I began to truly love myself and not be so afraid in just the past few years and I am a much stronger person now. I wear that bracelet everyday to remind myself to be fearless, and just be myself, no matter what others may say or think. The only opinion that matters is God's and I know he thinks that I'm pretty amazing. It also reminds me to take chances, no matter what the outcome may be, because you may not ever get that chance again.

I'm just now starting to understand what it means to be fearless. However, I did look up what it means on urban dictionary and I love the definition I received. The first one described being fearless as "Strong willed. Heart of gold. Beautiful inside and out. Able to push through the storms of a shattered heart, broken spirit and tattered body emerging twice as graceful and independent then before. A truly gifted woman with a gorgeous soul and a dreamer's disease." This is the exact kind of person I am working to become, and I couldn't have said it any better myself. People find their strength in all kinds of places, whether it be a situation or maybe a role model. I find my strength in God, because I know that there is no better person to depend on. Even when I have had my heart broken in what felt like a million pieces, he was still there. I think a broken heart can sometimes cause a broken spirit as well. And when we experience pain like that, it makes us think twice before ever attempting the thing that gave us that anguish again. It's hard to put yourself out there, especially when talking about dating, after you've been hurt so much because all you think is how you never want to experience that pain again. But to be fearless, you know that yes, there is a chance you could get your heart broken again, but you push forward anyway.

I think the "what if..." question comes into our head in any situation like this. Such as, "What if I put myself out there and someone hurts me again?" But the real question should be "What if I don't take that chance, and miss out on something truly wonderful?" I would much rather risk pain and heartbreak to experience something great God has planned for me, rather than be so scared of getting hurt that I end up being the one that hurts myself instead. Fear will do nothing other than hold you back from God's plan for you. And I believe with all my heart that God has a plan for everyone, and he has someone special for you as well. Sadly though, I also think that we let our fear get in the way of God's plan, and sometimes we can stop it from happening. Whether its fear of commitment, getting hurt, making a fool of ourselves, or even a fear to truly love someone, any of those things can get in the way and cause more harm than good. I think also sometimes we tend to think that we aren't ready for a certain situation or aren't mature enough, that maybe in the future we might be, just not right now. But I have a question for you, do you really think that God would put his plan into motion in your life if he thought you weren't ready or couldn't handle it? The answer is no. God is loving and all knowing, and when he gives you an oppurtunity that you think you aren't ready for, take it anyway! It may start off rocky, but if you trust God with every ounce of faith within you, you can move the mountains. Don't let your petty fears get in the way of his great plan for your life. Take a step off the edge and watch him catch you, or even show you how to catch yourself.

So my resolution is always take that chance, no matter how risky it may seem. Don't be afraid of failure, but instead be afraid of what may happen if you don't follow your gut instinct. And don't be afraid to love someone who you believe God has placed in your life. Because if you don't, they could be gone before you know it. It's true that you never know what you've got until it's gone. And don't wait until it's come to that point to truly appreciate what God has given you. If you love and trust God with all your heart, there is no need to be afraid. Put your heart on the line, do something to make you stand out, and attempt something completely new. This is what it means to be truly and completely fearless to me. And I hope it does to someone else as well. I pray that what I have written affects someone in a positive way, even if it is only one because then you are the exact reason I write this and I pray God performs mighty works in your life.

What A Girl Wants

I found this online and I really like it.  There was a lot more to it, but I just chose my favorites and few are tweeked just a bit, by yours truly. It just gives guys some tips on how a girl wants to be treated and what she's thinking. :)

All girls secretly love a guy who can sing.

Just so you know, girls want to smell you from 10, 6, or even 2 feet away.

Girls HATE players!!!!

We love it when you put your arm around us at the movies (especially the scary ones).

We don't need you to be Superman. We just need you to be there.

Pretty much all girls like to talk about something, so feel free to call us.

We LOVE surprises. That is, the good ones.

Don't ever try to impress us by cursing or fighting. It doesn't work; you just look like a jerk.

When you pick on the girl you like, she won't think you’re interested or cool. She'll just think that you're mean. (Ah the logic... of girls...)

Every girl wants to feel special, even if it’s just to you.

Being able to make your girl laugh= MAJOR brownie points!

We absolutely HATE it when you break a promise to us. It completely devastates us.

Here's something that girls are taught: When a guy says that you're hot, he's looking at your body. When he says that you're pretty, he's looking at your face. When he says that you're beautiful, he's looking at your heart. Remember that when you compliment a girl......

Ask any girl... She'll have no idea what the hell a guy means when he says that she's "cute".

We can tell when you aren't listening, and, yeah, it kind of pisses us off. If were boring you, at least have the decency to tell us!

When we say that we're cold, we either want you to come closer or give us your jacket. Tip: If you really want to impress your girl, hold her tight and put your jacket around her while you're still wearing it. It’s amazingly romantic! (As long as you don't grope her)

Hugs can mean more than kisses sometimes.

If you wait for the perfect moment, the perfect moment will pass you by. In other words, if you want to ask her out, just do it!

Please give us the same respect you would to any other human and look us in the eyes (Yes we do notice when your eyes wander).

We want the same respect that you give to other guys, but we really don't want you to treat us like them... (Chest bumps are never ok)

If you ask us nicely, we'll usually answer in the same way.

It takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays.

Anything you say or do with another girl that you don't want us to know is considered cheating.

When you say you don't like it when we wear makeup, don't just leave it at that. It helps to tell us why.

It absolutely floors us when you know our favorite color, flower, T.V. show, movie, artist, etc. See, we aren't that hard to please.

This one may seem weird. We love keeping your hoodies/jackets because: they remind us of you, they smell like you, and it makes us feel like you're there holding us even when you aren't.

NEVER EVER HIT A GIRL!!!!!!!!! Even if she hits you first....it's just wrong.

When you're dating a girl and you introduce her to your friends, you had better say that she's your girlfriend.

When it comes to gifts, we'd prefer something that has meaning rather than something with a big price tag.

The best thing that you can be to any girl is her friend. Friendship always comes before any good romantic relationship.

Have I mentioned that we like respect?

All girls want to be told I LOVE YOU now and then and possibly whisper it in her ear when you are having a moment.

Usually, when a girl is sarcastically mean to you, it means she's attracted to you, but she's afraid that she'll be showing too much.

When you calm a girl down (and believe me, you will need to do this someday), try your hardest to make her laugh, but never make her feel stupid for being so worked up in the first place.

Keep in mind that pretty much every girl has a group of guys (friends, brothers and her Daddy) who will beat the crap out of you if cross the line.

Girls don’t like show-offs. Just be yourself we'll like you better that way and if a girl doesn’t like the real you she's not worth your time.

Face it. Girls really aren't impressed when you spend the whole day showing off your muscles...

When she’s upset hold her and tell her she'll be fine even if she says it won’t, convince her it will be.

Don't disrespect her in ANYWAY.

Now and again flatter her with compliments.

Don't think that just because you didn't tell us we are never going to find out.

Our friends know EVERYTHING and EVERYTHING said to our friends will be told to us. Guaranteed.

No matter what we say, we hate your ex-girlfriend.

We check our phones every hour to see if you have replied to our texts, then worry if you haven't.

The fact you might leave us for another girl keeps us up at night.

When we're not talking to you on IM, we're actually waiting for you to talk to us (in a non-snobby way, we want to see if you still care enough to talk to us).

When we act sad, we want you to hug us.

We actually freak out on what to do during holidays like Valentine’s Day.

We don't care what our friends think of you, but we do care what your friends think of us.

We are very, very scared of scaring you away.

We don't care about what we talk about, just as long as we have your attention for a few minutes.

We have mood swings. Get over it.

Every time you're around other girls, we worry they are better than us.

We don't want to hear how cool your ex-girlfriend/neighbor/best gal friend is.

We will move mountains on our timetable if it means seeing you.

We compare every other guy to you, and you always come out best.

Don't brag about other girls liking you, it just makes us insecure.

When we say everything is 'fine', it generally means everything is absolutely horrible and we are on the brink of falling to pieces. Don't just say 'ok' when we say we don't want to talk about it.

If you do not hug us, we will not kiss you.

We think you are the best guy in the world.

We really do want you to stick up for us.

Compliments. We love them.

Be on time. We will think you don't care if you're not on time at a certain place.

Whether you say luv or love does matter.

We don't care if you couldn't come on that date because of the most embarrassing reason in the world, just don't lie to us.

We like cuddling up to you so let us.

Silent Treatment + Short Answers + Not Smiling or Laughing + Evil Looks = YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG.

Do not make fun of us unless we are in a good mood. As insecure as girls go, we take these things very seriously.

Saying something sweet MIGHT get you off the hook. Doing something sweet will ALWAYS get you off the hook.

We never forget things. Ever.

We over-analyze everything.  We over-react to everything.

We don't like being used.

We like it when you do un-expected nice things.

We usually don't let just any guy make us cry, so if you make us cry, you must have done something bad...

This is the way it works: You don't give us any attention, we dump you. It is NOT: You don't give us any attention, we chase after you. Deal with it.

We like it when you are protective of us. It makes us feel special.

Unless she is a moronic idiot, a girl who truly loves you will love you for a long, long time.

When we come back from a holiday and brag about how awesome it was, during the entire time there we were probably thinking about you. A lot.

No matter where we are or what we are doing, we really want you to hold our hand.

When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away.

When she misses you, she's hurting inside.

When she walks away from you mad, follow her.

When she stares at your mouth, kiss her.

When she pushes or hits you, grab her tight & don't let her go.

When she starts cursing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her.

When she ignores you, give her your attention.

When you see her at her worst, tell her she's beautiful.

When you see her crying, just hold her and don't say a word.

When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind.

When she's scared, protect her.

When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her.

When she steals your favorite jacket, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night.

When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh.

When she doesn't answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay.

When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up with the truth.

When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand.

When she grabs your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers.

When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh.

When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold.

When she looks at you in your eyes, don’t look away until she does.

Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything.

Don't let her have the last word.

Say you love her more than she could ever love you.

Argue that she is the best girl ever.

Call her at 12:00am on special occasions to tell her you love her.

Call her before you sleep and after you wake up.

Treat her like she's all that matters to you.

Don't ignore her when she's out with you and your friends.

Stay up all night with her when she's sick.

Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it’s stupid.

Let her into your world.

Let her wear your clothes.

When she's bored and sad, hang out with her

Let her know she's important.

Kiss her in the pouring rain.

After she reads this, she hopes one day you'd read it too.

Love, Dating, and Patience

So I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, mainly about dating I guess you could say. It can be good and bad at the same time. I'm not currently dating anyone right now but that doesn't mean it's not on my mind. I've only had one boyfriend my whole life and that was just in this past year and I'm perfectly okay with that. I've known girls that have constantly had different boyfriends since the early years of middle school and I guess that's just not how I am. I liked guys before, but I was either too shy to talk to them or knew they maybe weren't the best person for me and somehow it just never went anywhere. But I think that was God's way of protecting my heart. I was still so insecure with myself at that age, and having a boyfriend would've only made things worse, especially if he tried to pressure me into things. I think thats what happens with most girls in middle school and high school. They don't truly know who they are, so they look for some kind of definition of theirselves from a guy and end up giving away a part of theirselves that they can never get back.

 Just within the last year or so, God has been revealing so much to me and allowing me to truly love myself as I am. I never understood why things didn't work out with guys I wanted to maybe have as a boyfriend, but I know God was just looking after me. He wanted me to wait for the perfect guy, the one who loved God as much as I do. The one who truly cared about me and was first and foremost my best friend, and we would watch that friendship grow into something so much more. The one who loves me for the woman of God that I am, not for the lovey dovey feelings I give him or what I have to offer. The one who loves me for me. I thought I had found this one time, but I guess God had something else in mind. I don't know what or even why, but it was out of my control. Sometimes it sucks, but I want God's plan for me, not what I merely thought was his plan, because I know his actual plan is so much bigger than what I thought.

It's funny how love can make you feel as if you're on top of the world one day and then in the deepest pit the next. I have had my heart broken but God is slowly putting it back together. I don't understand why it's taking so long, but I know he has a purpose and I trust him. If anything, I am a much stronger and more confident person as a result. And if that is the whole reason for the pain I experienced, then it was well worth it. Coming to college has helped too. At first, I had guys coming at me left and right (I hope that doesn't make me sound conceited), and it still happens occassionally, but along with all the friends I've made, I know how truly special of a person I am. And I love that feeling, I hope it never goes away.

I've also experienced bumps in the road too, but they have made me wiser. Ladies, never give in to a guy for something you're not ready for, even if it's just a kiss. Because although they may stick around for awhile in the hopes that it will happen eventually, if you stand your ground, they will eventually give up and leave because they know they aren't "getting any". And you don't want to be with a guy that just wants the physical part of a relationship, because even though it may start out innocent like just kissing, it's surely to lead to more than you bargained for. Don't ever let a guy talk you into something you aren't quite comfortable with. If he really cares about you and wants a relationship based on friendship, then he will not pressure you into anything and take his time on asking you out. I've experienced this before but I won't settle just so I can have a boyfriend, that's not right. I want to love everything about the guy I date to where there's no doubt in my mind how I feel about him. My first requirement is that he is a man of God who loves him with all his heart and would even put God before me, because I would do the same towards him.

Most people may not be like me, but I want to be officially dating someone before I kiss them, and I want to be good friends before dating as well. Call me old-fashioned, a prude, whatever, that's just how I feel personally. I'm not embarrassed by this fact, but I am a 19-year-old college student who has never been kissed. Shocking right? I guess I'm just one of those hopeless romantics who has envisioned my first kiss about a million times and I'm not going to give in to just anyone just so I can say I've been kissed. When it finally happens, I want it to be right and with the right guy. I'm waiting for God's will for me, not inventing my own.

I know I've been rambling on, but this has just been on my mind lately and I thought maybe it could be helpful, if only to one other person. Guys and gals, just remember that God has someone in mind for you. You may want a boyfriend/girlfriend right this second, but don't settle for anything less than amazing because you deserve the absolute best. Just keep your head up, pray for God's will, focus on him, and he will send the right person your way when it's time. It may not happen as quick as you like, but God knows what he's doing, trust me.